finals

I woke up to snow. That was awful. I hate the snow and I hate the cold. Winter is the worst. I love the Holiday Season and the love and the spirit that it brings into my life. Sometimes, the cold just interferes with the warmness that should be Christmas.

Church was wonderful today. I loved listening to the choir sing so many beautiful Christmas songs. Also, Temple Prep is the most wonderful thing. Britnee's Visiting Teachers came over tonight and gave us a beautiful Christmas lesson. Even though I hate the winter, I am so excited to be able to go home and to love my family and to spend time with them. I love my Savior and I am so grateful for this time of the year that we have set aside to think about Him and His birth, but most importantly to remember to always keep Him by our side no matter the season or time of year. 

I pray that I will be able to keep Him with me throughout this week....

Honestly, I hate that this day is ending because tomorrow means FINALS.

The worst semester of my entire life is almost over and I honestly don't think I can wait much longer. Thank goodness my last final is on Wednesday. FOUR finals is so not fun. Bleh.

I feel like this is one MILLION percent accurate... 

     -Gotta love our Asians. :)

I also feel like no matter how hard I study, no matter how much effort I put forth, I am incapable of making a difference in my scores. It's like the professors predetermine how sucky you are going to be throughout the semester and there is no way of changing your fate once it has been chosen for you. This one time, {three weeks ago} I studied my bum off for my 3/4 midterms. I did worse on those than I did on my midterms which I didn't study for at all. Hmph. That seriously happens every single time.

I just may receive my first ever FAILING grade this semester. That is no fun. I'm sick of studying already, but I must press forward and kill this week. {before I drop dead myself.}

Also, maybe it doesn't help that I have watched LITERALLY every single 'I'm a Mormon' video in English on YouTube today. They were wonderful though. 

This one is my favorite.

I'm creepy and I stalked Sarah on facebook and I emailed her. 

Hopefully that's not the weirdest thing in the world and hopefully she appreciated my gesture. I just admire this couple so much and their sweet daughter is beautiful! I had to let her know that I thought she was darling. Also, her house is fabulous.

I was going to do some crafts today but my finals are seriously freaking me out so much that I decided to take a nap instead. haha.

I wish that I could go home right now. I'm ready for some quality family time for sure!

Happy finals, finally.

Life is Changing.

Sometimes, I don't want to leave at all. At the same time, I want to get on that jet plane RIGHT NOW.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm in high school again. My senior year is ending, all of my friends are staying, making plans together and I'm leaving by myself. We're all going our separate ways, but my way is the most separate.

Sometimes, I long for an earlier time. One before high school. One when I could stay home all day long with my mommy to craft and watch movies.

On days like today, I feel like the world around me is changing uncontrollably and I hate that I feel like it's going to keep changing without me. Because it is. I feel like I'm stuck. Today, I feel like the next six months of my life are going to be practically pointless.

On days like today, I have to put things into perspective-eternally.

My friends are staying. They're making plans together and I am leaving by myself. We're all going our separate ways and my way is the most separate.

BUT..

In the same way that moving to Logan to go to Utah State by myself was the greatest thing that I ever decided to do, serving the Lord for 1.5 years is going to be an experience that I need. It's going to be an experience that so many people are not fortunate enough to have the opportunity to experience. I have been given this marvelous opportunity and I am going to be so selfish and I am going to take it!

My choice to serve a mission IS the greatest choice that I have made up to this point in my life.

It's okay that everything that I leave behind is going to change because I'm going to change too.

And it's going to be so wonderful.

Sometimes, I forget how happy I know this is going to make me. I forget how I felt when that wonderful announcement was made. Sometimes, I forget about the blessings that I can offer to so many strangers somewhere on this earth. I forget about the blessings that my mission will bring to my family, even my future family.

On days like today, I'm thankful for my mom. She helps me to look more at the eternal perspective. She promises me a Christmas break filled with crafts and movies and shopping, and she promises me that everything is going to be okay. She tells me how proud of me she is. She reminds me of the crazy things that I have accomplished and she reminds me of the potential I have to continue to accomplish amazing things because my Heavenly Father has given me that potential and because He loves me.

Today, I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and He is proud of me. I'm grateful for his sense of humor and for the ways that He lets me know He's there. I love him. I want to jump on a jet plane RIGHT NOW and I want to go and thrash a nation somewhere and teach them the gospel.

However, I know, and He knows that there is SOMETHING that I need to accomplish in the next six months. It's hard to wait sometimes and sometimes I wonder if there really is something that needs to be done or if I am just wasting time. Maybe I'm the only person who will be able to teach some poor physics student how to build a roller coaster with a marble or maybe I just need to stay to be a bridesmaid for my best friend's wedding or maybe I just need a little more preparation. Whatever it is, I'm here for six more long months and that's okay.

Because I am changing and changing is good. I will keep changing and I will keep learning, because that is also good.

God is good. He is good to me and I want to be good to Him.

Sometimes life is hard but, if we let Him lead us, He will change our life and it will always be good.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today, I found the church's website for sister missionary preparation. It's fabulous.

They talk about clothing here. AND they have makeup tips here! Also, there are lots of other fun things to read about and to look at. I spent a good hour browsing this part of the website.

Why is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints so great? I'm a super lucky girl and I'm super excited to be able to wear cute clothes on my mission that I am also super excited about! :)

Dead Week

I should be studying, but I'm not.

I should be sleeping, but I'm not.

I should not have taken a three hour nap earlier, but I did.

I should take a shower, but I won't because I don't want to.

I should stop eating so much chocolate and make a decent meal for myself, but I'm not going to.

I should get cute tomorrow, but I'm going to wear another over-sized sweater.

I should put some makeup on for the first time this week. Most likely not going to happen.

I should stop crafting and start studying. No.

I shouldn't be blogging, I should be sleeping. Oops.



ONE MORE [of each] CLASS.

Get well soon friends.

Gottschalk.

Happy birthday, best friend.

I miss you.

 

Red.

My cute little red-headed brother called me a couple of weeks ago and told me to watch this video. He said that they watched it in seminary and he wanted me to see it too.

Over the last 5[ish] years, Carson has changed so much.

He used to be like the boy in this movie... A red-headed, slightly chunky [but SO adorable] picked-on little boy who might be seen sitting on a bench seemingly with no friends..

Today, Carson is the good-looking basketball stud who ALWAYS stands up for others. He has such a big heart and I admire him so much for it!

He is such a hard worker.
He is a wonderful friend.
He has such a strong spirit!
And he is one of the funniest boys I know..

Also, he is always trying to do what's right.. 

AND he has THE BEST smile...

I love my little brother and I am so grateful for his example to me.

Sometimes, I find it hard to believe that there are so many heartless people- children included- in this world. How I wish that I could do something to change it. Although I may not be able to change the world, I can follow Carson's example and be a friend to everyone. There is no better time to make a difference than now, during this wonderful holiday season.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BROTHER. 

I love you and I am so proud of you.

Three Days of Thankfulness

This Thanksgiving, the Winstons and the Littoffs joined the Craguns and the Rupes for 

THREE days of Thanksgiving celebration!!

We rode fourwheelers, dirt bikes, buggies, rangers and when all of the motor-vehicles were occupied {which only took seconds}, some of us even opted to ride the lawnmower in order to be in on the fun dirt-spinning! Our Cali clan got to shoot guns while the kids had fun climbing on the rock wall inside Danny's garage. There was food- EVERYWHERE and we always had a game or a movie playing on the trifecta TV set-up.

I would dare say that it was the best three day Thanksgiving EVER.

Unfortunately, I don't have all of the pictures from the weekend, but here are the ones that I do have!

 

I love baby Gunner..

And my cute cousins Morgan and Kennedy

 

Enjoy our large group pictures...

The best part is that this is not even the entire family! 3 whole families are missing! {We missed Ryan, Debi & Toren. Katie, Kevin, Tommy, David, Brent & Lizzie AND Wendy, Mario, Ethan & Xander! Also, Troy missed these pictures. But he did make it to the other family pictures that I don't have copies of. Dang it all.}

"It's a Moose over there!!"

The next few pictures were our attempted "Gangnam Style" shots.

My family is the greatest.

I am so thankful for each and every member of my beautiful family. I hope you love yours too..

Happy Thanksgiving.

Mission.

During the Saturday morning General Conference session in October of 2012, President Thomas S. Monson announced that girls are now able to serve missions at age 19.

I'm 19.

Serving a mission is something that I have always wanted to do. I've always felt a pull toward missionary service but I've never really known if serving a full-time mission was something that I would end up doing. 

Before now, the reality of actually serving a mission has been rather distant because my 21st birthday is still 1 & 1/2 years away. So many things could happen in a year and a half that might cause me to not be able to serve a mission. I will be almost finished with school, maybe I could even be married by the time I turn 21. 

I have told myself that preparing for a mission now would benefit me no matter what comes my way. Preparing for a mission is essentially preparing to enter the temple which would in turn prepare me for marriage which is a wonderful thing to be prepared for.

So, last semester I thought to myself over and over again,

why not start preparing?

I took a mission prep class.

It was great and I learned a lot. I discovered that I love missionary work! I was so envious of all of the girls in my class who were actually leaving to go on their missions. 

My mind has been set on wanting to serve a mission for some time, but like I said, the reality of it has been so far away.

But I don't have to wait anymore.

Because LITERALLY everything has changed...

My initial reaction to the announcement was shock. At the same time, I had this crazy desire to just up and leave. I got off the couch and told my parents that I was leaving. I got on lds.org and found the mission paper website and tried everything to be able to sign in and start my papers. My mom just laughed at me and told me that I probably should think about serving a mission a little more before deciding completely.

I decided that she was right and although I had this crazy desire to serve, I needed to pray about it and think about it a lot more.

While pondering my life all day Saturday, I came to the conclusion that I probably wouldn't be able to go on a mission.

I have an insanely awesome scholarship at Utah State that pays for EVERYTHING. However, this scholarship is extremely conditional. It's called the TH Bell Teaching Loan Incentive. It's practically a loan that turns into a grant once I have taught school in Utah for the same number of years that my schooling is paid for. They have allotted me a certain number of years to finish my schooling and then I have another certain number of years to find a teaching job in order to pay off the loan incentive and turn it into a grant which will allow me to move on with my life without having to pay any money back to the state for my schooling. (<--- holy run-on sentence)

The more I thought about leaving, the more I worried that there was no way they would give me three semesters off of school to serve a mission.

Also, I just bought a brand new car that I love!

I love the girls that I live with.

I love the people I associate with!

I'm having so much fun!

I'm doing well in school..

I just got a brand new job at a Bridal/Prom dress shop that I absolutely LOVE.

I love the girls that I work with..

AND I am still able to work for the school on the A-Team which I also love so so much!
          Who in this world is lucky enough to find TWO great jobs that they LOVE?? Especially in a college town like Logan?

There are so many things that are right and wonderful in my life right now.

I honestly have just about everything going for me except for...

1. I have no idea what I would like to do with my future career at the moment..
2. I don't have a man in my life..

[I feel so vain.]

Saturday night, I wasn't quite so sure about the whole mission thing anymore.

Sunday. 
ALL DAY SUNDAY.. I felt like every speaker during General Conference was screaming at me!

Elder Henry B. Eyring started the morning off by explaining to me that "God is never hidden, yet sometimes we are." He talked about how following our desires rather than remembering "Thy will be done" sometimes creates a pavilion between us and the Lord. He reminded me to "listen and submit to His will and His time" and that God is always close to me and He is aware of me.

President Boyd K. Packer reminded me to turn away from sin and to know that "peace comes from following the pathway of complete repentance." I was given a greater desire to share this knowledge with people and allow others to experience the miracle of the Atonement.

Elder Jeffery R. Holland asked me if I love the Lord. He somehow challenged me to think more deeply about the meaning of the words, "Do you love me?" and to really imagine the day when I will be able to kneel at the Lord's feet and exclaim, "Yea Lord, thou knowest that I love Thee!" BUT sometimes I wonder, how am I showing the Lord that I love Him now?

I love the line from Elder Holland's talk,

 "The crowning characteristic of Love is always LOYALTY" 

How LOYAL am I being to my God? 

[by making excuses to not serve Him]

President Thomas S. Monson ended the first Sunday session by challenging me to take an inventory of my life and to look for all of the blessings that I have received, both big and small.

I am so blessed.

{& that is my problem! I really just don't want to leave my blessings. 

How selfish.}

Sometimes I feel like I don't know enough of the doctrine of the church to be able to serve a successful mission. OR that I don't pray as well as so many people around me do... Sometimes, I just feel so inadequate.

Elder Robert D. Hales' talk REALLY affected me. It really helped me. He reminded me that I "do not need to be afraid or feel inadequate" because "the Savior will make [me] equal to His work." He added that the Lord "[will bless me] with the strength to do His will, allowing [me] to go forward and do things that [I] never before thought possible." He even gave the specific example of serving a full time mission.

"[I] must prepare [myself] to answer His call by saying, "I'll go where you want me to go, I'll say what you want me to say, I'll do what you want me to do, I'll be what you want me to be."

 Elder Richard G. Scott was able to rid my mind of all of the things that I have been worried about when he said, "Set aside those things in your life that don't really matter. Decide to do something that will have eternal consequences."

(Like maybe, serve a mission?) 

He added that those things that do matter involve prayer, faith, determination, diligence and some sacrifice. He emphasized, "You can make a powerful contribution. The Lord will help you find a way!"

Even though he was talking about genealogy, 

I was able to directly apply his words to the concerns I had with my desire to serve a mission.

Elder David A. Bednar simply reminded me to "Know the gospel is true and be true to the gospel"

And President Monson ended Conference with one of the most inspiring talks about being happy. He said, "Be of good cheer! The Lord loves us and is mindful of us. He is always on our side as we do what is right." He reminded me that the Lord will help me in times of need and that "the purpose of mortality is to learn to grow" but that "it is often during the most difficult times that we learn the most."

He reminded us all to "follow the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

'Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.'

He lived for us. He died for us"

I should be living for Him.


I honestly have no excuse to not serve a mission.

I KNOW that prayers are answered. God hears me and He loves me and He answers me. There was something for me in every single Conference talk and I know that the Lord was aware of the answers I needed and the words that I needed to hear.

Conference allowed me to let go of my fears and my doubts. I then was able to tell the Lord that I was willing to go because I knew that somehow, everything would work out. In a matter of 48 hours, I was able to get a hold of a Leave of Absence form for my scholarship loan grant thing.

At the same time, my wonderful boss at Petals and Promises offered to take me back once I get back from my mission.

I will still have a scholarship and I will still have a job that I absolutely LOVE. Maybe the A-Team will even welcome me back in a year and a half.

None of my other excuses matter at all. I love my friends, but they will still be here when I get back. Yes, by the time I get home, literally every single one of my friends will be married but I can handle that.

I have been able to forget my excuses, worries and concerns. The Lord has provided a way for me to feel comfortable with moving forward and preparing to serve a mission. That is what I am doing because I know that everything is going to work out the way that it is supposed to.

I met with my bishop on Sunday, October 14th and he gave me access to start my mission papers on the 15th. (Which just so happened to be the day that Corbin had his Court of Honor to receive his Eagle Scout award. Which we planned to have on my Uncle Mark's birthday! What a wonderful day!)

  

I have been working on my papers for a week now and I have never felt so wonderful about something in my whole life.

While I feel so spiritually uplifted and strengthened already, the adversary has definitely been working on me already as well. I know that there is a family, maybe three (or four or five or fifty), somewhere in this world that I am meant to find and to help and to teach and Satan absolutely does not want me to do that. I know that he will do everything in his power to prevent me from serving my mission. I refuse to let him.

I have a lot of work to do. It's going to be hard but it's going to be worth it. I am ready and I am so excited.

I get to be out at the same time as this sweet boy who is my best friend. He is such a great example to me and I am so proud of him!! I can not wait to share my mission experience with him while he shares his mission experience with me! :)

I truly believe that serving a mission is what I am supposed to be doing at this point in my life. I've thought about it and I have prayed about it quite a bit. I continue to pray about it every day and every night. Thoughts of my mission never leave my mind. There are big changes coming my way and they are scary but I know that they are good and that I will be okay and that I will be blessed. But more importantly that I will be able to bless others.

I am so happy and excited that I have been given the opportunity to share this gospel with others as a full-time missionary. I know I'm not quite on the mission yet, but I love missionary work. I love this gospel and the joy and happiness that it brings into my life. I have been so blessed to have been raised in this church and to know the things that I know. I have been blessed to always have the priesthood in my life and to have had parents and brothers who love me and support me. 

I love the prophet Joseph Smith. I know that he was and is a true prophet and that he restored Christ's church to the earth in it's entirety in these latter days. I love The Book of Mormon. I know that it is the word of God and that it is a wonderful book filled with truth and knowledge and direction for me.  I am so blessed to know of the Plan of Salvation and to know that I will be able to one day live with my family and friends and with my God for forever because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I love the Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is my brother and He is my friend. I am so thankful for His life and for His love and for His Atoning sacrifice for I know that I would be nothing without it and that I would be nothing without Him. I love the prophets and apostles and I know that President Thomas S. Monson is a living prophet who guides The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints today. I love that we have been given the gift of modern revelation that the wonderful mission age change could be made and that I am able to know that, at the age of 19, it is my turn to to serve a mission...

 I am doing what God wants me to be doing and that is all that matters.

The Lord is preparing me for my journey and I know that it is going to be the greatest blessing for me 

& for my family.

& for the families that are waiting for me to serve them.

xo.

school is cool.

School started in August... I suck at blogging.. 

Here is what I have been up to according to my Instagram feed.. :)

A-Team ended. Sort of. I still email my connections students every week. And I get to work at an occasional Aggie Passport event.

I have a new obsession with Italian Sodas from Caffe Ibis.

I was able to go to the Brigham City Temple open house with my family and my best friends Melanie and Kim! It was so beautiful. I can't wait until I am able to go through the temple myself. 

The spirit was so strong there and the temple had not even been dedicated yet.

Aggie football!!! I love Big Blue & Britnee Bromley. :)

The "She Wolf" girls threw a 90's themed double-dutch party. Best-dressed award went to...

↓↓↓↓↓

Brit Brom and I are super weird. Our lunch one day:

Peanut butter & honey toast, cottage cheese, Ritz crackers with garden vegetable Laughing Cow cheese spread topped with a Jalapeno slice & peanut butter & pickle toast. We loved it so so much.

September 11, 2012

Mark has been gone for two years now.

We took balloon letters to the cemetery  It was super dark and creepy, so we just ran to Mark's headstone, yelled, "WE LOVE YOU!" let the balloons go and ran away. I'm sure he got a kick out of that.

I am a physics major...

This is what my classmates do during class.....

I was having a really bad day on September 18th and I was stressing about everything that I could have possibly stressed about. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I want to quit my job at Sizzler sooo bad. I had tons and tons of homework. I had to pay the bills and my car payment AND my temporary license plates for Lola were going to expire and I had not yet received my real license plates.

So... my parents are so cute and they surprised me with my license plates. As I walked out of my new job at Petals and Promises, my parents were waiting for me by my car.

We went to dinner and my daddy gave me a blessing. I am so thankful for the priesthood.

I have the greatest parents in the whole entire world.

I go to the greatest, most beautiful University on this planet.

My mom sent me this picture one morning as Carter was leaving for school.

It was crazy hair day.

My brothers are the cutest!

I saw a sweater like this on Pinterest and decided that I NEEDED it because "meh" is my favorite word! However, it costed $50 and there was no way I would pay that much for an ugly sweater. So, I went to Walmart and bought a $5 sweater and painted it. :) It's my favorite

As I mentioned before, I got a job at Petals and Promises. It's a Bridal/Prom shop on 100 North

I love it soooo much!

September 22 was the Bridal Fair and we were having a huge sell. It was my first day working in the Bridal side of the store and look who my first bride was! The day could not have been more perfect.

My little sister Kylie Sorensen is going to make a beautiful bride.

I babysat a hedgehog.

The chalk dance was crazzzzyyyy!! I got to dance in the wide open pit space between the barricades and the stage. It was literally one of the greatest nights of my whole life.

The only reason I got to be in the pit area is because Jake Taylor was so kind to give me his pass.

Before I got up front, I was next to the barricades getting the life squeezed out of me.

I don't know why I even have a desk....

I got to spend the last quarter of the USU vs. UNLV game on the front row with these cute boys.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I love my Aggies!!

Recently, I have been making homemade lunchables. They are delish.

Whole wheat Ritz crackers.

Sun dried tomato flavored turkey.

& Pepper jack cheese.

I even give myself a treat.

Here is another one of my physics friends...

Her hat is made our of duct tape. 

Brit Brom is so funny.

My mom's birthday was on the 26th.

She's my best friend. I love her so much.

The past month or so of my life has been insane. I've learned a lot, I've grown a lot and I've had a lot of fun. :)