Mission.

During the Saturday morning General Conference session in October of 2012, President Thomas S. Monson announced that girls are now able to serve missions at age 19.

I'm 19.

Serving a mission is something that I have always wanted to do. I've always felt a pull toward missionary service but I've never really known if serving a full-time mission was something that I would end up doing. 

Before now, the reality of actually serving a mission has been rather distant because my 21st birthday is still 1 & 1/2 years away. So many things could happen in a year and a half that might cause me to not be able to serve a mission. I will be almost finished with school, maybe I could even be married by the time I turn 21. 

I have told myself that preparing for a mission now would benefit me no matter what comes my way. Preparing for a mission is essentially preparing to enter the temple which would in turn prepare me for marriage which is a wonderful thing to be prepared for.

So, last semester I thought to myself over and over again,

why not start preparing?

I took a mission prep class.

It was great and I learned a lot. I discovered that I love missionary work! I was so envious of all of the girls in my class who were actually leaving to go on their missions. 

My mind has been set on wanting to serve a mission for some time, but like I said, the reality of it has been so far away.

But I don't have to wait anymore.

Because LITERALLY everything has changed...

My initial reaction to the announcement was shock. At the same time, I had this crazy desire to just up and leave. I got off the couch and told my parents that I was leaving. I got on lds.org and found the mission paper website and tried everything to be able to sign in and start my papers. My mom just laughed at me and told me that I probably should think about serving a mission a little more before deciding completely.

I decided that she was right and although I had this crazy desire to serve, I needed to pray about it and think about it a lot more.

While pondering my life all day Saturday, I came to the conclusion that I probably wouldn't be able to go on a mission.

I have an insanely awesome scholarship at Utah State that pays for EVERYTHING. However, this scholarship is extremely conditional. It's called the TH Bell Teaching Loan Incentive. It's practically a loan that turns into a grant once I have taught school in Utah for the same number of years that my schooling is paid for. They have allotted me a certain number of years to finish my schooling and then I have another certain number of years to find a teaching job in order to pay off the loan incentive and turn it into a grant which will allow me to move on with my life without having to pay any money back to the state for my schooling. (<--- holy run-on sentence)

The more I thought about leaving, the more I worried that there was no way they would give me three semesters off of school to serve a mission.

Also, I just bought a brand new car that I love!

I love the girls that I live with.

I love the people I associate with!

I'm having so much fun!

I'm doing well in school..

I just got a brand new job at a Bridal/Prom dress shop that I absolutely LOVE.

I love the girls that I work with..

AND I am still able to work for the school on the A-Team which I also love so so much!
          Who in this world is lucky enough to find TWO great jobs that they LOVE?? Especially in a college town like Logan?

There are so many things that are right and wonderful in my life right now.

I honestly have just about everything going for me except for...

1. I have no idea what I would like to do with my future career at the moment..
2. I don't have a man in my life..

[I feel so vain.]

Saturday night, I wasn't quite so sure about the whole mission thing anymore.

Sunday. 
ALL DAY SUNDAY.. I felt like every speaker during General Conference was screaming at me!

Elder Henry B. Eyring started the morning off by explaining to me that "God is never hidden, yet sometimes we are." He talked about how following our desires rather than remembering "Thy will be done" sometimes creates a pavilion between us and the Lord. He reminded me to "listen and submit to His will and His time" and that God is always close to me and He is aware of me.

President Boyd K. Packer reminded me to turn away from sin and to know that "peace comes from following the pathway of complete repentance." I was given a greater desire to share this knowledge with people and allow others to experience the miracle of the Atonement.

Elder Jeffery R. Holland asked me if I love the Lord. He somehow challenged me to think more deeply about the meaning of the words, "Do you love me?" and to really imagine the day when I will be able to kneel at the Lord's feet and exclaim, "Yea Lord, thou knowest that I love Thee!" BUT sometimes I wonder, how am I showing the Lord that I love Him now?

I love the line from Elder Holland's talk,

 "The crowning characteristic of Love is always LOYALTY" 

How LOYAL am I being to my God? 

[by making excuses to not serve Him]

President Thomas S. Monson ended the first Sunday session by challenging me to take an inventory of my life and to look for all of the blessings that I have received, both big and small.

I am so blessed.

{& that is my problem! I really just don't want to leave my blessings. 

How selfish.}

Sometimes I feel like I don't know enough of the doctrine of the church to be able to serve a successful mission. OR that I don't pray as well as so many people around me do... Sometimes, I just feel so inadequate.

Elder Robert D. Hales' talk REALLY affected me. It really helped me. He reminded me that I "do not need to be afraid or feel inadequate" because "the Savior will make [me] equal to His work." He added that the Lord "[will bless me] with the strength to do His will, allowing [me] to go forward and do things that [I] never before thought possible." He even gave the specific example of serving a full time mission.

"[I] must prepare [myself] to answer His call by saying, "I'll go where you want me to go, I'll say what you want me to say, I'll do what you want me to do, I'll be what you want me to be."

 Elder Richard G. Scott was able to rid my mind of all of the things that I have been worried about when he said, "Set aside those things in your life that don't really matter. Decide to do something that will have eternal consequences."

(Like maybe, serve a mission?) 

He added that those things that do matter involve prayer, faith, determination, diligence and some sacrifice. He emphasized, "You can make a powerful contribution. The Lord will help you find a way!"

Even though he was talking about genealogy, 

I was able to directly apply his words to the concerns I had with my desire to serve a mission.

Elder David A. Bednar simply reminded me to "Know the gospel is true and be true to the gospel"

And President Monson ended Conference with one of the most inspiring talks about being happy. He said, "Be of good cheer! The Lord loves us and is mindful of us. He is always on our side as we do what is right." He reminded me that the Lord will help me in times of need and that "the purpose of mortality is to learn to grow" but that "it is often during the most difficult times that we learn the most."

He reminded us all to "follow the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

'Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.'

He lived for us. He died for us"

I should be living for Him.


I honestly have no excuse to not serve a mission.

I KNOW that prayers are answered. God hears me and He loves me and He answers me. There was something for me in every single Conference talk and I know that the Lord was aware of the answers I needed and the words that I needed to hear.

Conference allowed me to let go of my fears and my doubts. I then was able to tell the Lord that I was willing to go because I knew that somehow, everything would work out. In a matter of 48 hours, I was able to get a hold of a Leave of Absence form for my scholarship loan grant thing.

At the same time, my wonderful boss at Petals and Promises offered to take me back once I get back from my mission.

I will still have a scholarship and I will still have a job that I absolutely LOVE. Maybe the A-Team will even welcome me back in a year and a half.

None of my other excuses matter at all. I love my friends, but they will still be here when I get back. Yes, by the time I get home, literally every single one of my friends will be married but I can handle that.

I have been able to forget my excuses, worries and concerns. The Lord has provided a way for me to feel comfortable with moving forward and preparing to serve a mission. That is what I am doing because I know that everything is going to work out the way that it is supposed to.

I met with my bishop on Sunday, October 14th and he gave me access to start my mission papers on the 15th. (Which just so happened to be the day that Corbin had his Court of Honor to receive his Eagle Scout award. Which we planned to have on my Uncle Mark's birthday! What a wonderful day!)

  

I have been working on my papers for a week now and I have never felt so wonderful about something in my whole life.

While I feel so spiritually uplifted and strengthened already, the adversary has definitely been working on me already as well. I know that there is a family, maybe three (or four or five or fifty), somewhere in this world that I am meant to find and to help and to teach and Satan absolutely does not want me to do that. I know that he will do everything in his power to prevent me from serving my mission. I refuse to let him.

I have a lot of work to do. It's going to be hard but it's going to be worth it. I am ready and I am so excited.

I get to be out at the same time as this sweet boy who is my best friend. He is such a great example to me and I am so proud of him!! I can not wait to share my mission experience with him while he shares his mission experience with me! :)

I truly believe that serving a mission is what I am supposed to be doing at this point in my life. I've thought about it and I have prayed about it quite a bit. I continue to pray about it every day and every night. Thoughts of my mission never leave my mind. There are big changes coming my way and they are scary but I know that they are good and that I will be okay and that I will be blessed. But more importantly that I will be able to bless others.

I am so happy and excited that I have been given the opportunity to share this gospel with others as a full-time missionary. I know I'm not quite on the mission yet, but I love missionary work. I love this gospel and the joy and happiness that it brings into my life. I have been so blessed to have been raised in this church and to know the things that I know. I have been blessed to always have the priesthood in my life and to have had parents and brothers who love me and support me. 

I love the prophet Joseph Smith. I know that he was and is a true prophet and that he restored Christ's church to the earth in it's entirety in these latter days. I love The Book of Mormon. I know that it is the word of God and that it is a wonderful book filled with truth and knowledge and direction for me.  I am so blessed to know of the Plan of Salvation and to know that I will be able to one day live with my family and friends and with my God for forever because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I love the Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is my brother and He is my friend. I am so thankful for His life and for His love and for His Atoning sacrifice for I know that I would be nothing without it and that I would be nothing without Him. I love the prophets and apostles and I know that President Thomas S. Monson is a living prophet who guides The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints today. I love that we have been given the gift of modern revelation that the wonderful mission age change could be made and that I am able to know that, at the age of 19, it is my turn to to serve a mission...

 I am doing what God wants me to be doing and that is all that matters.

The Lord is preparing me for my journey and I know that it is going to be the greatest blessing for me 

& for my family.

& for the families that are waiting for me to serve them.

xo.